IV
by HarryPotterGrl100
Summary: Will and Hannibal vowed they would protect Abigail from everything after the events with her father. But when Abigail messes up terribly, she does not want to tell them what's wrong. They support her as best they can after learning her secret. But we all know that tragedy and darkness pervades their world...


**This fic may veer SLIGHTLY AU in parts but I hope people like it. Enjoy! It will be shorter, too. I don't own anything except Season 1 on Blu-ray. Though I really wish I owned Hugh Dancy! :) Anyway, enjoy.**

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For the umpteenth time that day, Abigail Hobbs ran to the bathroom and vomited. She had a nagging fear of what was causing her nausea, however. But she was so embarrassed, humiliated, over what she had done she would rather die of shame before letting Will find out...or, even worse yet...Hannibal.

She could feel herself blushing even at the mere idea of confessing. And the memory of the actual event… Of losing her virginity to a guy she went to school with. Yes, he was handsome, charming, sweet, fun, and intelligent, and yes, she did have feelings for him. He had treated her like an actual person when paired up for their project… But she had had sex with him before even going on a single _date _with him! That was the definition of slutty, at least in her mind. Or, rather, it would be the school's opinion. Hell, they already thought she was a cannibal and a serial killer, just like her father. Just even letting them get a whiff of this hefty piece of news would be the icing on the cake. Just what she needed.

She supposed the night had been just as about love and hormones as it had been escape. Ecstasy. Escape from all the taunts and dirty looks as she walked down the halls, escape from all the trauma she had endured…Escape from seeing her father's blood-drenched face, as he had slashed her throat…Escape from seeing and hearing her mother being brutally, savagely killed…all of it. And, even more recent… escape from the memory of having killed a man herself…as well as the memory of seeing her friend, brutally murdered in her father's old hunting cabin.

She had just wanted him to make it all disappear; all go away. And he had. They both had. But hadn't he told her he wasn't looking for a relationship now? That as much as he would like to, having a relationship with her wasn't possible? That they both had to keep this on the down low, for if his parents found out they would "positively murder him for even associating with her"? It was yes to all of those. He, Peter, would be leaving for Yale at the end of the year, and with him he would take her heart-what was left-and the memory of having sex with the creepy Hobbs girl. Nothing more, nothing less. It literally killed her that he clearly didn't want her as much as she wanted him, but in time, she mused, maybe she could heal. As long as she had Hannibal, she could bounce back from anything. Excuses were sometimes what she thought he was saying to her, though. Polite lies. Hell, maybe the whole night had been a bet between him and all of his many buddies. She wouldn't be surprised. But the thought still made her heart shatter.

Tears reaching her eyes again, she decided to just forget all of that now, and just focus on _this_. On praying it wasn't a pregnancy. Fresh tears leaked from her eyes now, at the all- consuming panic of having gone four days now without her period. _Why wouldn't it come? Why? _Observing her face again, she was so pale. So sickly looking. She looked a mess and, even worse, felt it. Vomiting again, she grew cold at the sound of somebody entering Hannibal's house.

"Abigail?" She tensed. It was Will. Coming to check up on her, no doubt, as Hannibal was away for two days at a Psychiatric Association Convention in Baltimore.

Blushing again, butterflies swarming in her stomach, she prayed he wouldn't find her. Walk in here now. Maybe she could hide? Convince him she wasn't there? Maybe make him think she was simply out for a walk? _  
_

All of her plans were effectively shattered as she vomited again. Loudly. Abigail heard quick footsteps go for the open door of the bathroom, and then Will was standing there. He gasped quietly.

"Abigail? Oh my god…what's wrong? Are…"

He seemed to stop speaking at the sight of the girl in front of him. Abigail, upon finishing vomiting, was full on shaking and silently crying, unable to muster the courage to turn around. Face him.

She couldn't. She just couldn't. And even though all she wanted was for Will to envelope her in his arms and tell her everything was going to be all right as she cried, the humiliation was too much to bear at the thought of telling him. Besides, there were so many things wrong with her to drag a man as sweet as Will into this with her! She thought she even had a little crush on Will, honestly. And Hannibal, too. She just couldn't help it. They were both handsome, intelligent men-and both so sweet to her, albeit in their own ways. She could feel how her heart beat a little faster whenever Will talked to her, smiled at her, or whenever Hannibal hugged her or told her about food. God, she was so messed up! These men both thought of her as nothing but a surrogate daughter, she was sure…at least, surely in Hannibal's case! She wouldn't, couldn't, entertain any other possibilities.

She was saved by two warm, gentle hands gingerly turning her to face him. Will took out a handkerchief and gave it to her, his eyes radiating empathy. "Abigail, are you all right?"

She shakily nodded. "Y…yes. I…I just think I'm…feeling under the weather…You…You don't need to worry." She smiled as best she could under the circumstances. But Will didn't seem convinced.

"Now, Abigail, here's the thing. When you're a special agent, you know far better than most people when people are lying. And I think you are." He spoke softly, however, his face kind, smiling a little. "You can tell me whatever's troubling you. It won't inconvenience me. Trust me."

Her eyes watered even more. He was so sweet. _Tell him, tell him...her mind screamed. _But then she began to blush again and just couldn't. _Coward, coward, her mind taunted. _

"I…" The words bubbled up, but then, looking down, she said. "It…it's just…embarrassing. G…Girl problems, you know."

Will smiled gently. "You can still tell me. No need to be embarrassed. I can't promise I can help you, of course, but I'll try."

She almost smiled a little. Almost. "N…No. I…I'd rather just…talk to another girl about this. Like…Dr. Bloom."

Yes. She would go to see her as soon as possible. Maybe she could help. But then this would make it real. Real…

Overcome by another severe bout of tears suddenly, Abigail sobbed, "I…I'm sorry. I…I just don't know what…what came over me…."

Will just took her into his arms and rocked her as she cried all her tears, all her fear out on his chest. He was warm and comforting on this chilly autumn day, and he smelled good. His heart beat calmly and soothingly, lulling her into a sense of safety. Security. Embarrassed, she realized afterward she had knocked his glasses askew.

Looking down, she said, "I'm…I'm so sorry."

Will smiled gently. "It's alright, truly. But I don't feel comfortable leaving you home alone overnight, especially if you're sick. Do you want to come stay at my place for the night? I pale at cooking in comparison to Dr. Lecter, of course, but I can make you some soup. We could watch television, if you prefer. Or a movie… or oh, darn, never mind...pretty sure I only own VHS movies…despite me getting me a DVD player for Christmas two years ago as a joke in a raffle at an academy Christmas party… But I could go rent some DVDs, of your choice. Whatever you want. And my dogs are good with people."

Abigail couldn't help smiling. He was so sweet, even though his awkwardness and being out of practice at sharing his home with others couldn't have been clearer.

"S…sure. That would be fun. T…thank you. But I don't want to put you out, or…"

Will silenced her with a stern look. "Hey. You're not putting me out, Abigail. I don't mind, truly. You are very important to me."

Abigail smiled, then. "Ok. Just…just let me go pack. And brush my teeth." She blushed a little.

Will smiled. "Alright."

And as Abigail packed a bag, grateful for the company she would be sharing tonight, she resolved she would go and speak to Alana tomorrow. Tomorrow…she both dreaded and desired it.

Tomorrow…then she would know.

But as Will smiled at her and then held the door, she decided to stop worrying about it.

At least for the time being.


End file.
